The Heart just knows You

The heart just knows you

It recognized you

From the moment we saw each other

From then on , love was due

For you existed

As long as I have

As love always has

No start , no end

You grew in my heart

You grew for me

I knew your name

Before I learnt mine

I saw us together

In time. Our destiny

To unfold and unfurl

Into infinity

The heart just knows

And if you look close enough

You'll know it too

Dilemmas and Deliberations

Do I marry who I love 
or love who I marry?

Do I save up for the rainiest of days 
or do I spend on my hearts desire?

Do I use my education to earn , acquire and accumulate
or do I travel the world and gain what is not to be found in books?

Do I  work till I can finally rest
or keep looking for what may never arrive?

Do I speak out in love
or keep my voice hushed in my heart?

Do I stay here in the land that gave me roots
or Do I choose the one that beckons with a glittering finger?

Do I reach out and aloud
or do I keep my hand and heart tame?

The above few lines are my attempts to condense the various experiences of one of the most confusing phenomena that our Holy Scriptures haven't prepared us for....the QUARTER LIFE CRISIS. So when I innocently sought some guidance from the masses of well meaning elders , internet support groups , equally misguided friends and long forgotten developmental psych textbooks...this is what i learnt. And as misery loves company , permit me to share this with you.

 Now the big QLC is not scientific . It is not recorded anywhere scientifically. You cannot complain. You are young , healthy and are cognitively oscillating between your parents whims , your bosses expectations and your own id induced wants. You are a product of technology , religion , education , history , societal expectations and your own hormones.No you cannot complain. Stick with it and then bow down to the mighty mid life crisis. That's apparently real.

Now most of my loved ones cannot get my sarcasm. Hence the need to explain. Which I do in my next few posts. 

 



 

The Last Green Leaf

The Last Green Leaf

I look outside my window , at the old apple tree

It's leaves long gone , except for one hanging free

I turn over and silently sigh

Soon , I'll have to say goodbye

They say I won't last long

And I know they're not wrong

I'm not sad , I have no sorrow

When they say I won't be here tomorrow

After all , it's God who makes the calls

I'll go when the last leaf falls

There's a strong wind blowing from the river

The leaf shakes , I shiver

Everything's cold , I need a nap

From which I may never rise , I hear a twig snap

Before I go to my grave , the flowers and the wreath

I say this prayer with my last breath

I shut my eyes , I'll never wake

I pray to God my soul to take

Poem written at age 15 . No judging allowed. Was greatly tempted to change words and lines but I've retained the original. And no , I'm not a morbid person.

Rhyme Obsessed

Poetry was one of the constants in my childhood days. My favorite subject at the time in school was English because it was the first subject where my teacher encouraged us to think independently. And believe me having a mind of my own was something I didn't even think of till then. The idea of having your own interpretations of the written or spoken word was absolutely fresh and appealing to me. The thought of voicing my opinion out loud ( and as an 8 year old back then , I was the definition of spineless) scared me. I was a huge fan of Blyton back then and spineless me felt that penning my thoughts was brilliant and totally safe. I had practically nothing much to do when I came back from school . I'd lug around a yellow notebook back at the time and write a few lines about anything that caught my fancy from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to whether I really needed a brother. I wrote about snow , seasons , change , classmates I liked , classmates I hated and the future just around the corner. My rhyming was on a roll and so was I.

Were my poems any good? I had absolutely no clue. But I continued writing. My last poem was written when I was approaching 15 . I had a year of visiting family and friends in hospitals and chose to write about how people felt when they knew they were dying ( morbid I know , no one will be proud of me , unless they're Kubler-Ross). The effect of reading this poem was alienation and some not so approving looks aimed my way. Don't even ask me how my mom reacted but I did find my yellow pages turned to C for Child psychologist).

Writing about anticipating death was my last theme till now. I haven't been able to write any more poems because I grew out of that phase. But as they say , most things of our childhood have this tendency to pop up in our lives again  and almost 12 years later , I'm back to writing poetry. I don't know where that old yellow notebook is , probably giving someone a few laughs somewhere back home. But I did come across my last poem and I'm putting it up. read it but remember I was a rhyme obsessed 15 year old , so no judging. It's there on my next post and its titled The Last Green Leaf.

Hopefully , I'll be able to write some more. And though its been 12 years , I'm still obsessed with rhyme.