To do or not to do

“It is our choices ,Harry ,that show us what we truly are , far more than our abilities.”

J.K. Rowling , Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Life is all about the choices we make. We are what we are today because of the choices we made yesterday.

I’ve made some excellent , healthy choices. I’ve chosen to stick up for some people , chosen to support certain ethics in life and also chosen to wear sunscreen everyday.

On the not so admirable side , I’ve made bad choices as well – obsessing people who were not worth my time , missing rehearsals and dance classes for things I did not really want to do but felt obliged to , eating all those extra diwali sweets…

We don’t realize that the effects of our choices are not seen immediately. They sort of pile up invisibly and choose some clandestine moment to manifest in life and BAM…it hits us right in our face.

The more toned figure I sport now is the result of my choice to wake up early at 5:15 a.m. when the rest of the world is sleeping and go for yoga.

The fact that I stumble during my kathak classes is definitely the showcase of my choice to perform other activities that futilely ate up my time leaving me with no strength to spin in class.

World War was a result of choices. King Gautama becoming the Buddha was after his choice to leave his kingdom. Judas chose to betray Jesus. Magneto chose to leave the X-Men. I decided to study psychology instead of medicine. …Our choices have power , even and especially if it changes things for us.

I’m doing my pre-doctoral research in positive psychology now and we’re constantly looking for ways to increase fulfillment in life. A simple way would be to realize the magnitude of our main choices .

And just like the consumer market which offers us an umpteen number of choices , most of us will face either an approach-approach , avoid-avoid or approach-avoid path. In the first , we are forced to choose between two equally desirable options or goals. For eg – deciding who to date- Someone awesomely smart or someone who makes us laugh? The second , we reluctantly choose between two equally unappealing choices. The awful , bone-crunching gym session or the health ailments later? And the third is the most confusing – to do or not to do. Do I quit my job? I’m going to get the free time I’ve always wanted to learn to swim but then who’s gonna pay me the dough that I need to whip up for my expensive swimming class?

Maybe we should start with the question about what’s more important for us. And act accordingly. And realize that while you’re prioritizing one thing over the other , we can always do the other later on. Realize that every single domain in our life need not be perfect all the time.

Why did I choose to write this while everything else in my blog is candyfloss?

Because I suddenly realized that I had the power to choose…

And so do you.

Does Dance bring us closer to God?

Man has always reached out to a higher power through prayer. And what is dance , but prayer in motion?

Everything in the cosmos dances. Nature is constantly dancing as the birds move around , animals play gaily and flowers reach out to the skies . Man is in a constant state of motion , always staging their entrances and exits in life. Dance is a way to exhalt and communicate with God by using the movements of our body as a temple. 

The Natya Shastra , which is believed to be the fifth Veda of the Hindu Scriptures , states that every stage that the dancer chooses to dance , is a temple of God. Dance has always been a way for Man to connect with the Universe or with that special element within themselves that links their soul to God. Ask any dancer and they will tell you that the essence of their work is spiritual unity. In our daily lives , the body and brain usually work together but when one dances , the soul and spirit of man is also brought forth. Whether it is the swirls of the Sufi dances or the devotion of our Indian classical forms , dance brings us closer to our spiritual union with God.

Modern day philosophers and spirituality experts are now including elements in dance in their practices. The vigourous training that involves all parts of the body is akin to meditation . Music and meditation are also integrated and the goals are to attain greater peace and harmony within oneself. Balance is a crucial aspect which is needed in one’s life and dance teaches us the importance of centering and anchoring ourselves. The roots of all dance forms whether they are classical , contemporary or folk in nature , have always been steeped in this spiritual union. When any one approaches dance as an art form or as an interest to be pursued , they are receiving spiritual direction. 

I remember attending a lecture given by Pandit Birju Maharaj , one of India’s most revered dancers . He spoke about how humanity is caught up in a complete frenzy of erratic motion in their daily affairs. But peace and harmony can be attained if they remember that the dance they are currenty dancing is always for and with the Higher Power. I conclude by asking the reader to reflect on a powerful saying by the saint Rumi – “Whosoever knows the power of the dance , dwelleth in God”.

My Goodbye to The greatest Bollywood Legend of all Time

Goodbye King of Romance

I was a bright eyed , sharp tongued , quick footed kid. I had short , black hair , stubby little hands and was dressed in dungarees and shorts all the time. No frills or frocks for me , no roses and satin sashes , no dolls and flower baskets. I was far removed from the pretty little girls you would probably see on the cover of some pre pubescent adventure series. I wasn’t full of sugar and spice , though there were a lot of things nice about me . My mother fretted over her failed attempts to turn me into a little lady. My father cheerfully accepted me as his second son. Infact , many of the shopkeepers around called me “ lil boy “ frequently. I did’nt bother correcting them.

Then somebody called Chandni exploded on screen.

Sridevi , a famous actress of the 90’s ( I loved her fab comic timing and her ability to beat up the boys) , suddenly donned salwars of some flowing material ( the opulence of chiffon was yet to tantalize me) , sang melodious songs and her eyes turned misty whenever she thought of the man in the movie. I was three when this movie released and all I remember is this dreamy eyed , raven haired damsel who stands on a hill , with a yellow dupatta flowing behind her. It was the beginning of many such lovely visions. It was also the beginning of the maiden in me.

 Pooja . Nisha. Anjali. Zaara. ….they opened up a whole new world for me.  They were Chopra’s depictions of the Indian Woman …one that appealed to millions of women the world over. They were strong ,elegant , colourful women…..someone we all wanted to be. They helped me embrace feminity – wearing jhumkas , flowing dupattas , twirling with ghungroos , learning Kathak…I have a lot to thank Yashji for. So whenever , Karishma smiled mischieviosuly , I did the same. When the characteristic yellow dupatta flowed on screen , I thought of my own yellow dupatta . I made sure that , even to this day , I have one in my wardrobe. Whenever Juhi  longingly looked for her love , Madhuri dropped her gaze when she was shy or Kajol danced in the rain…..i vicariously lived it all.

The yellow dupatta. They all wore it. The shade ranged from canary to buttercup yellow. Sometimes , it had lace or sequins , not unlike a lot of the embellishments Chopra ji made to his movies . I had a new one every two years or so  and whenever I proudly wore it , I was one of them.

Somewhere down the lane , I grew up. My bangles made way for a sensible watch. My dramatics became subdued and so did my colours.  Whether it’s enjoying a good movie , learning to dance wholeheartedly or simply waiting for another Shahrukh extravaganza , I still had a lot to thank Yashji for.

Yash Chopra was the king of romance. His movies were ethereal and magical. Yashji was a magician who’s enchantment in Bollywood can never be paralleled. His legacy will live on through his stories and the unforgettable characters he created.

Since Yashji was all about romance , I hope he puts in a good word for me in that department .

Meanwhile , I’ll still keep that yellow dupatta flying…..

My Brushes with the Mystical Arts

I knew there was a reason i liked her.

Before i start with the first of the ramblings ,for all you hot blooded people out there , the Scarlett i write about is not the Woody Allen protege, but the fiesty heroine of the soul shattering war epic 'Gone With the Wind'.

And if you dare ask "who"? , get off my blog! Now!

Scarlett O' Hara is considered to be the very epitome of an Aries woman. We , of the mars ruled , are both male and female. Before that scares you off , let me assure that its temperament that i speak about. We flutter our eyelashes and can play the female tragedy heroine to a hilt. We can also be all rosy and dewy. Just when you think we're all maidenly , we surprise you with our ability to take over the man's role , even when he is around. We can open our own doors , pull out our own chairs and feed our kids...all by ourselves.

We're a little paradoxical. Only a little though :) We can be "cookie dough , fresh from the oven " warm to you...but...hurt us...and you will experience the most icy drought that makes even the glacier that hit the Titanic seem mild in comparison. Our fire is warm and steady , but douse that ( and it takes a lot to do so ) and the ice emerges. For us , love and hate are merely two sides of the same coin. What our iciness emits is indifference. And that can be a lil too harsh , trust me on this one.

But there's more to us. We're brilliantly optimistic. And if you're our friend , we're loyal for life. We're high on Life itself so if your dreams need fueling , come to us!We're career women who want to rule the world with our grit and artistic persuasions , yet we will halt when it comes to cooking a nice meal for the man we love. Notice i said halt , cos we'll just find a way to do both!

And if you happen to fall in love with one of the fine ladies from our sisterhood , let me quote some random person - "So you're in love with an Aries girl. I don't know whether to congratulate you or sympathize with you."

On the more realistic side , us Aries girls have a weird approach to love. We're always waiting for the Big Love of our lives. And we think of him all the time. We can be the most fulfilled of women . We're so full of ourselves we don't need a man. And when we do meet The One, we realize how incomplete our lives were before.

Note - If an Aries girl loves you , she's damn proud of you!

And if you're in love with an Aries girl , hold on with a smile.All she demands is a man true to himself and to her.

She'll believe in you and support your wildest dreams.You don't have any? Borrow some of hers. She has plenty to spare. If you believe in her just hall as much as she believes in you, you could make some miracles together.